Saturday I went to the theater (Eduard Albee, The Zoo Story). Monday morning, at work, I had a talk about drama with my young Chinese colleague Weidong. Besides us, our engineering group is composed of two Americans, a Japanese young woman, an Ethiopian and another Romanian. For all of us, Weidong is “we don’t”, for mnemonic purposes. Our talk happened during our round trip to the coffee machines.

Weidong asked me, the way people use to ask each other, every Monday morning: „What did you do during the week-end?” I answered him: „Not too much”. Then I added: „I went to the theater, with my family”.

Him: Theater?

Me: Theater, yes.

Him (grimacing): Theater?

Me (getting slightly nervous): Theater.

Him (with an honest look on his face): What’s this?

Me (somehow amused): With actors.

Him (yelling, so that some people started to look after us in disbelief): WITH WHAT?

Weidong speaks English with the shouting voice and the savage mimicry of a Chinese speaking Chinese. Sometimes, while talking with him, you can’t refrain from mocking him. Only you are never sure if Weidong doesn’t notice it, or he does but couldn’t care less.

Me (being sorry for opening the subject): Actors. Play. Stage. Shakespeare.

Him (alarmed, yelling again): WHAT?

Me (counterattacking): Theater! You never went to a theater?

Him (apparently catching a meaning): To a movie? Of course I went!

The classical confusion between theater and movie-theater, I told myself.

Me: Not movie-theater... Theater! With actors, playing right in front of you!

Him (his face lightening up): Yes... I have seen in China.

Weidong told me once he has been in US for four years. We poured coffee in our cups and engaged in our way back towards our desks.

Him: And it was good?

Me (increasing the bet): I liked it very much. Basically we are going to the theater almost every week-end.

Obviously Weidong became again unsure of what I was talking about. He concluded that he was wrong the first time. He remembered that he didn’t go too often to see shows with real actors, in China. Nobody there, at least nobody he could remember, was going once a week to this type of shows.

Him (yelling again): TO WHAT?

Me (sadistically): To the theater!

Him (with Asian stubbornness, making me feel mad): What’s that!

Me: Theater. It’s ok! Forget it.

We were coming close to our desks and I didn’t want to agitate our colleagues.

Him: How are you writing this?

Me (whispering): T-H-E-A-T-E-R.

 

When arrived next to his desk, Weidong stretched his hand to grab a piece of paper.

Him (showing me the paper): Write it down here!

I put the damn word down on paper. He took a glance at it and remained as puzzled as before.

Back to my desk, I checked my e-mail. I had a message from an old Romanian friend, who’s working somewhere in South Germany. He was telling me that during the week-end he went to Venice. I answered him on the spot, in Romanian: „Saturday I went to the theater...”

 

( Seattle, 2002)

 

Sâmbătă am fost la teatru. Luni dimineaţa, la slujbă, am avut o discuţie pe tema artei scenei cu tânărul coleg chinez Weidong, vecinul meu de birou. În grupul nostru de calcul de rezistenţă, compus din noi doi plus doi americani, o japoneză, un etiopian şi încă un român, Weidong e numit „we don’t” (noi nu...), din motive mnemotehnice. Discuţia noastră a avut loc pe durata drumului până la bateria de cafetiere şi înapoi.

Weidong m-a întrebat, cum se întreabă: „Ce-ai făcut în week-end?” I-am spus: „Mai nimic”. Apoi am adăugat: „Am fost la teatru, cu familia”.

El: Teatru?

Eu: Teatru, da.

El (strâmbându-se, a nepricepere): Teatru?

Eu (lejer enervat): Teatru.

El (cinstit): Ce-i asta?

Eu (oarecum amuzat): Cu actori.

El (răcnit, atrăgând câteva priviri speriate): Cu ce?

Weidong vorbeşte englezeşte cu tonul răstit şi cu mimica încrâncenată ale unui chinez vorbind chinezeşte. Unul dintre colegii americani îl imită perfect, fără ca Weidong să se supere.

Eu (părându-mi rău că am deschis subiectul): Actori. Piesă. Scenă. Shakespeare.

El (alarmat): Ceee?

Eu (contraatacând): Teatru! N-ai fost niciodată la teatru?

El (parcă prinzând un fir): La film? Ba da!

Confuzia clasică dintre theater şi movie theater, mi-am spus.

Eu: Nu la film... La teatru! Cu actori, în faţa ta!

El (luminându-se la faţă): Ba da... Am fost în China.

Weidong a venit în Statele Unite în urmă cu patru ani.

Ne-am umplut cănile cu cafea şi am pornit-o spre birouri.

El: Şi a fost bine?

Eu (plusând): A fost ok. Mergem aproape în fiecare săptămână.

Weidong a căpătat iar un aer nesigur. A bănuit că s-a înşelat. La spectacolele cu actori în carne şi oase de care şi-a amintit el nu se mergea aşa de des.

El (iar răstit): La ce?

Eu (cu sadism): La teatru!

El (cu îndărătnicie asiatică, înnebunindu-mă): Ce-i aia!

Eu: Teatru. E-n regulă. Las-o baltă.

Ne apropiam de birouri şi nu voiam să stârnesc agitaţie printre colegi.

El: Cum se scrie?

Eu (şoptit): T-H-E-A-T-E-R.

Ajunşi în dreptul biroului lui, Weidong întinde mâna după o foaie de hârtie.

El (arătându-mi hârtia lăsată la marginea biroului): Scrie aici!

Am scris. A citit. A rămas la fel de nedumerit.

Ajuns la biroul meu, mi-am verificat e-mail-ul. Aveam un mesaj de la un fost coleg de facultate care lucrează prin sudul Germaniei. Îmi spunea că în week-end se repezise până la Veneţia. I-am răspuns pe loc: „Sâmbătă am fost la teatru...”

 

(Seattle, 2002)